There are times in all our lives when we wonder if we are doing it right? Endless questions plague us and worry creases our brows. Are we good people, are we good parents? Have we been good friends and good relatives. What do our professional colleagues think of us or what does the Boss think of us?
We keep berating ourselves when we feel we may have slipped. Not made dinner for the family, not done the laundry, not kept the house clean, didn’t return a call.
An internal tussle continues where we keep beating ourselves wondering if we are doing right. If that’s not enough we wonder what others may be thinking of us?
Have you every paused to ask yourself, who is judging you?
The answer might surprise you, but it is YOU. Yes, you are the one constantly judging yourself. You are your only harshest judge. You are the one who sets impossibly high standards for yourself and are disappointed when you fail.
Your neighbour picks and drops her children to school? You beat yourself up because the bus picks and drops yours. It’s convenient for you right, or maybe because you have a 100 chores piled up the moment your children leave. Or you need to get to work after they leave.
Your friend cooks up amazing meals for her family, while you have just enough energy to slap together a Sandwich at times? Hey, take it easy. A Sandwich is good! Or just order in! You’re handling other things. Or maybe you just didn’t feel like cooking. Big deal! You may be doing a whole lot of things that others wish to.
When you start judging yourself, you lose confidence in you. You second guess your abilities and your pros get snowed under cons.
If you’re doing the best you can, if your intentions are right. If you’re keeping yourself and your family healthy and safe you are doing a great job. You should worry about being judged only when you judge others. Do you? Share on X
I judge myself, alright. I’m hard to please, even more for myself. I’ve learnt to let it go over time though. Managing ‘everything’ is a dream and the worst possible service to ourselves. Everyone’s lives and responsibilities are different.
Thanks, Varsha.
So true! The pressure of being judged is too much at times and as you mentioned we are the ones judging ourselves and not others as its all in the mind. A thought provoking post.
Thanks, Deepa.
I think we all are our harshest critics. While it is good to use that as a motivator, when it gets too much it can deflate your confidence and make you feel inept. A thought provoking post, Mayuri.
Thank you, Rachna.
Mirror show everything, but we tend to focus only on what is not looking good or as expected. Thus we let go of joys of having 10 good things, at the hands of one not so good one. Loss is entirely ours. There is a greater need in enjoying whats good and giving handsome discount to whats not! Easier said than done though.
So very well articulated, Mayuri.
Thanks for reading, Anagha.
Aah! This is an eye-opener and how true we are the ones judging ourselves but never realised it. I guess half the sadness of this world would vanish if we get our thoughts cleared on this one. Very valid post Mayuri.
Thank you, Roma.
Mayuri , judging, putting one self down, all these negative aspects are created from one from within. Its human and natural to have judgemental thoughts, but one needs to put an effort to convert them into a positive aspect. So if a friend cooks a lavish meal and I just make sandwiches, how about making the best sandwich that I love? Makes one feel better right!!
This article strikes a chord – we are often our own worst critics. This mental dialogue is sometime our own enemy!! Should know when to mute it 🙂
BTW, you are nominated for the mystery blogger award – https://lonelycanopyblog.wordpress.com/2018/05/12/the-mystery-mania/
Do check out and keep the chain going!! ❤ ❤