Do you forgive?
Do you forget?
Forgive and Forget. Two small words with big implications. Ask anyone if they can forgive and forget and the responses would rarely be in the affirmative. Forgive would still have people contemplating a yes, either reluctantly or enthusiastically. However, mention Forget and expressions would turn determined, with a blatant no to follow most of the times.
What is it about forgiving and forgetting that invokes such strong reactions from almost every one? Why do we find doing either or both so difficult?
Have you thought about it?
Do you ask for forgiveness when you’ve wronged someone?
Do you forget when you’ve not done right to others?
How easy it is for almost everyone to forget the wrongs they may have done to someone, or the hurt they may have caused to other people. How quickly they seem to forgive themselves for doing so, and move on in life.
On the other hand, people find it almost difficult to move on easily after they’ve been wronged or hurt. We hold on to old hurt and grudges like they were precious.
Why?
It is because we romanticise the hurt. We feel we matter, that we were important enough for someone to react to us. By continuing to retain hurtful memories we feel we have something to hold on to. It makes us feel alive. A masochistic way of feeling and looking at things no doubt.
What are you holding onto the hurtful memories for, when you say you can’t forget? Why are you keeping yourself from being free and without pain if you do? Why are you clogging your mind with memories that are rancid, thereby leaving little space for fresh memories to sprout?
Forgive. Forget. Float. Share on XFeel the lightness as you make forgive and forget your wings, shrug off all that you allowed to scar you, and soar.
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I keep the forget word more as a precautionary measure. Once bitten twice shy types. Be careful not to be fooled or hurt by the same thing again.
Your kind of forget is hard to achieve but can be most rewarding. Holding on to sadness only multiplies it. Good post, Mayuri. 🙂
You’re so right. Like most people I find it tough to forget. Though if I have repeated interactions with that person it is easier to get over the initial hurt. You’re right again about letting it go. The ‘how’ of it is the tough part.
Great post. It is true I would feel so much better and light if I did forgive and forget. I have forgiven often and the human part of me has moved on. I however have only rarely managed to forget which keep me mentally tied down to the person.
Easier said than done, no? I’m constantly working on this, Mayuri. Without forgiveness life becomes one bitter journey. I’ve found that gratitude helps me to forgive.
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It may be true forgiving and letting it go the grudge. However, it was hard and still is.. cause today humanity doesn’t exist!
I try not to hold on to grudges long, I feel it tires me out more than anything else. If I feel I’ve wronged someone, I ask for forgiveness. I know I’m not perfect and may have made a mistake, even though I don’t know what that mistake may have been at times.
You are right on account of the majo part of the population. But there are some like me who have held to their own wrong doings for a long time and find it hard to forgive myself. Yet a very interesting and thought provoking read.
Hi, extremely nice effort. everybody should scan this text. Thanks for sharing.
Oh yes, we do forgive but its so difficult to forget. Takes courage. But your post makes me ponder, need to implement this in my life to make it more peaceful.
Remembered an old ad of Hero bikes. It said “Fill it, shut it, forget it”. Over the time period, however, I have realised the same line, but with a slight change in the spelling… Feel it, shut it and forget it!
Its difficult to forget what we feel specially if we are hurt. But once we put a lid and forget it, the journey ahead is indeed easier!
Very profound post!
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This article helped was therapeutic indeed. I am going through a lot of mental health issues. This helped me take a fresh look at my situation.
Sometimes I feel that it’s easier said that done. I can forgive easily. But forgetting is something very difficult for me. Nevertheless, very motivating article!
I can forgive but somehow its so hard for me to ‘float’ and ‘forget’
As a few others have said, we tend not to forget as a way to learn from past experiences. We feel when we forget, we are exposing ourselves to get hurt by the same person again. I forgive very easily. I even don’t bear any ill-will towards the said person very quickly. But to forget is just foolish.
I so agree with you. Pain makes you feel alive. It gives you a high. Forgiving is very difficult but revelling in the pain of a situation is fatal.
“Do you ask for forgiveness when you’ve wronged someone?” – This is something i have not experienced. As i always tend to compose myself in such a way that i won’t hurt anyone. But i guess if i have wronged anyone it wouldn’t be easy for me to forgive myself first!
Coming to the next point of discussion. I tend to remember rather than forgetting when I been wronged or hurt. As i do not want to fall in the trap again. I feel its imp to remember but not hold grudge or negativity what so ever… Just remember so that u need not go through the same feeling again!
Forgiveness is easy once you put yourself in the other’s shoes. Easy to say but very difficult to achieve that.
Very well written Mayuri!