Everyone talks about school exams, board exams, entrance exams, and competitive exams.
Adorable.
The real pressure begins when you start dating a woman.
Because, my friend, welcome to the most unpredictable exam of your life.
No syllabus. No timetable. No sample papers. And heavy negative marking.
Men walk around thinking life has only three major tests: school exams, college exams, and job interviews.
Incorrect.
There is also the emotional exam.
Conducted daily. Without notice. Without mercy.
For example:
You say, “I’m five minutes away.”
This is not information. This is an exam.
If you arrive in five minutes, pass. Ten minutes, borderline. Fifteen minutes, you clearly don’t value her time, her feelings, or possibly humanity.
Then comes the legendary line:
“Do whatever you want.”
This is a trap exam. There is only one correct answer. You will not know what it is. And “Okay, cool” is absolutely wrong.
Failing these leads directly to the oral exam (also known as The Discussion).
Duration: 2–3 business hours.
Next: the birthday exam.
We say, “Don’t get me anything.”
Sir. Please. This is an advanced-level exam with an internal assessment. We expect thought. Effort. Memory. Emotion. Possibly fairy lights. Maybe cake at midnight. A handwritten note will fetch extra credit.
Showing up empty-handed? Detained.
Then there’s the memory exam.
We once mentioned we love lilies. Or hate raisins. Or had a bad day on 14th August 2018.
If you remember three years later, gold medal. If you forget, repeat the exam next semester.
And let’s not ignore the scariest one: the mood exam.
We say, “I’m fine.”
You must immediately understand we are not fine. This is telepathy-based testing. No calculator allowed.
But here’s the plot twist.
These secret exams aren’t actually evil. They’re not about control. They’re tiny quizzes on attention.
Did you listen? Did you notice? Do you care enough to remember the small stuff?
Because love isn’t grand gestures every day.
It’s passing the little exam, bringing her favourite chocolate, texting “Reached home?”, remembering how she takes her chai.
Pass those? Congratulations.
You’re not just clearing the exam. You’re topping the class.
Everything else is just bonus marks.
This post is written for the Blogaberry Creative Challenge – March 2026 for the Prompt: Exam
This indeed is an important exam and men still haven’t found ways to crack it
Emotional exams are turbulent. I often wonder if we can get out of this. Sometimes, I feel happier alone. I really enjoyed your idea behind this post.
Ha ha very funny – with a dash of sweetness at the end. You got me interested at the title itself!
What a difficult exam, Mayuri! Only those who clear these are green flags. I actually wonder how guys are wired. How do you forget or ignore simple things? Women need to be treated specially, tenderly. But there are very few men who realise this.
True that, Mayuri. Even women have to appear for exams every day, at every moment, so only these many exams for men is ok. Exams ache hai.
haha…that’s a good one. Why should men always have fun…they need to deserve it.
As a woman I know how innocent and gentle these exams actually are if only men paid attention. After all, how difficult can it be to remember a zillion things and say only the right stuff at the right time? Tch!
hahaha. I laughed so loud at “Sir. Please. This is an advanced-level exam with an internal assessment” Poor guy doesn’t know what he’s got himself into if he fails that one and then bhagwan hi bachaye aapko 😛
Super!!!! I love these exams, especially because of the surprise element and that we get to set them. HEHEHE! Your article brought a smile to my face.
Funny and we know how tough it is to be a man! Shush ..let’s not tell them that .
Such a fun read, Mayuri. Made me laugh, but also felt so real. These exams aren’t that hard, just need a little attention and effort. Loved the idea and the humor.
If you call about emotional exams my husband used to get 100/100 in the initial 10 years time, but now he fails only the the memory exam, rest all still OK. Am I lucky?
This was a really fun read! Cheers to womanhood!
Super entertaining! Loved every bit!