Keeping it together is an art form. It’s about looking calm while internally screaming, nodding wisely when you have no idea what’s going on, and holding a cup of coffee like it’s the only thing keeping you tethered to reality.
The key is confidence. Not actual confidence, of course, but the illusion of confidence. You walk into a stressful situation like you have a plan, even if the only plan is “Don’t cry in public.” You maintain eye contact, even if your soul prepares to evacuate your body. You keep your voice steady even though your brain is sounding alarms like a sinking submarine.
The trick is simple: fake it till you make it. Because, let’s be honest, no one really knows what they are doing. We are all just pretending, hoping no one calls our bluff. That’s why we say things like “Interesting point!” in meetings when we aren’t listening or “I’ll check and get back to you!” when we have absolutely no intention of doing so.
Mastering fake calmness requires technique. First, the deep breath—because nothing says “I’ve got this,” like dramatically inhaling and exhaling like a yoga instructor, even if you are panicking inside. Then comes the slow nod, the universal sign of “I am totally processing this information” (even if your brain is buffering). And if things get really bad, the best trick? Sip your drink—coffee, tea, water—whatever’s nearby.
Nothing gives off chill, composed person vibes like pausing to take a slow, thoughtful sip. Bonus points if you furrow your brow slightly like you’re contemplating the mysteries of the universe instead of mentally drafting your escape plan.
And let’s not forget the golden rule of pretending to be calm: never break character. If someone asks, “Are you okay?” you cannot, under any circumstances, admit that you are just one more inconvenience away from a complete meltdown. Instead, you flash a tired smile and say, “Oh yeah, just a little tired!” (Which, technically, isn’t a lie because you are exhausted – emotionally, spiritually, and existentially.)
The real magic? Sometimes, faking calmness actually works. Sometimes, it tricks you, too. You pretend to be collected long enough, and suddenly – somewhere between the forced deep breaths and the overly slow sips of your favorite beverage – you start to believe it. You become the picture of serenity, or at least someone who looks like they have it together. And in this life, that’s usually good enough.
I am participating in the #BlogchatterA2Z, and this is my post on the theme ‘Of Epiphanies & Eyerolls‘.
Your take on pretending to be composed when you’re internally screaming is spot on. The way you described nodding wisely when you have no idea what’s going on and holding a cup of coffee like it’s the only thing keeping you tethered to reality is so relatable. I’ve definitely been there, trying to look calm while my brain is in chaos. Your tips on mastering fake calmness, like the deep breath, slow nod, and sipping your drink thoughtfully, are hilarious yet practical. And the golden rule of pretending to be calm—never break character—is something I try to live by. It’s amazing how sometimes faking it can actually make you feel more composed. Thank you for sharing this humorous and insightful piece; it brightened my day and gave me a new perspective on handling stressful situations.
Yes, faking it does help. Confidence is not so easy to achieve. But it does come… even through faking!
The tips on faking calmness—like the deep breath, slow nod, and thoughtful sip—are hilariously accurate. It’s comforting to know that we’re all just doing our best to appear composed, even when we’re internally panicking.
Faking confidence, sometimes, is the only option. Reminds me of the duck, who looks perfectly calm on the surface, but beneath the surface is all chaos making it move majestically
Absolutely true—nobody really has it all figured out. Deep down, we’re all vulnerable creatures just trying to project confidence. And the last part of the post hits the nail on the head (scientifically too): when you fake something long enough, it starts to weave itself into your personality.
Everyone is faking it, and I think they should distribute degrees to those who master this art.
In a world where almost everyone is faking it, you’re constantly under pressure to look like you have your shit together better than everyone else. :p
And now I wonder, why is everyone so good at faking that confidence? I mean, which school did they enroll? Lol !
I was so naive, I couldn’t tell if this was a serious post or sarcastic one. Omg. But honestly, so many of us have found ourselves stuck in such awkward situations.
/The real magic? Sometimes, faking calmness actually works. Sometimes, it tricks you, too. /
And then there are those tragedy moments when a boomer speaker suddenly turns to you and asks, “What do you think?” If I were a judge, I’d be tempted to write a capital punishment for them!
Your post made me smile. Keep it going! All the best.