My topic for MayTivation last week was Do You Forgive and Forget? The responses to the post, in comments or otherwise, did not surprise me at all. Most people said they could forgive not forget. Others thought it was foolish to forget. Still others admitted it was difficult to do either, or both.
As I said, predictable.
What I cannot understand is what good is it serving any of us to keep reminding ourselves of the hurt caused to us or the wrongs done to us? Could you honestly say that the pattern, of unfair behaviour directed at you by other people, hasn’t repeated itself, despite your promising never to forget the lessons learnt the last time it happened?
So what exactly are you doing with the promise of never letting yourself forget?
Which is why a few years ago I decided to go one step further and learnt to practise detachment.
When people let you down repeatedly there should be no other option than to let them go. However sometimes these people are your family, friends, co-workers and the like whom you cannot let go off so easily.
This is where detachment comes in.
After I have given a person enough chances to prove that he or she is not deserving of a relationship or bond, I detach. Completely. When I detach from that person and all that they do or say they cease to exist for me. When I meet these people they are just forms to me, floating around and nothing that they say or do matters. No longer are any emotions or reactions invested in them.
Yes, there are others words people use for this kind of behaviour. Cold, ruthless being the kinder ones.
As far as I am concerned it is just plain and simple detachment. And Detachment is my Superpower.
What is yours?
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It’s tough to forgive even for me on a personal level if I confess honestly, but detachment is something I agree with you completely. I am an emotional person and keeping up with the expectations was something which gave me toughest time in life. And as we learn from mistakes, life taught me a lesson to ‘detach’ myself from all those expectations or the person as well.
I can relate to this thought well Mayuri.
Sometime it is really tough to forget something or someone which you wished and expected whole heartily.
Good to know you are capable to detach yourself…it really need long time to achieve and obviously the best for your future.
I agree Mayuri. When we detach ourselves, we no more cling to the person or bitter memory.That’s the perfect solution.