I have always been an impulsive person. While others look before they leap, I am one of those who doesn’t look after she has leapt, and most probably injured herself while thoughtlessly doing so.
Over the years, I have strived to change this habit, but haven’t succeeded so far.
My impulse leads me to be at the forefront when it comes to helping people. Be it mentally, emotionally, physically and even financially. I never pause to consider the pros and cons of assisting when someone I know needs help.
The last couple of years of being so have begun to take their toll on me. I have spent days, even months, helping friends out by being a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. If help has been needed, I have been there physically.
It’s been incredibly draining.
I have begun questioning who I am. A good person? A good friend? Or perhaps gullible? Even foolish?
2018 was an interesting year. It gave abundantly, and as it did, it took more than it gave.
So much so that 2018 left me empty and running on reserve. We all know that running on reserve can only take us a little distance, before we are forced to stop and fuel up.
Which is why my Word of the Year for 2019 is
PAUSE
My goal for 2019 is to ‘Practise the Pause’
Pause before I decide
Pause before I help
Pause before I lend
Pause before I trust
Pause before I believe
Pause before I expend my energy and resources.
That all-important Pause is what I hope will let me step back and think about whether I should move forward. When it comes to helping people, to being there. No, I am not being cynical, I am just thinking smart.
Because I have * finally * admitted that my time is precious, as are my resources, and if I don’t realise that, how do I expect anyone else to?
Have you chosen your word of the year for 2019? Do share it if you have.
Pause is a good choice especially given the busy lives we lead and I guess given what you’ve shared re your personality. I hope 2019 is good to you and you manage to practice the pause! Happy New Year!
Thanks for reading, Sanch.
I think this is a wonderful word in general, Mayuri. We all need to pause, reflect and ponder before we give of ourselves. There’s only so much energy we can expend before we feel depleted. I can completely relate to that!
Wishing you a year of abundance, pause, peace and joy as you blog your way through 2019. 🙂
Thanks for reading, Shailaja. Wishing you a fabulous 2019!
Pause is an excellent WOTY. It helps to not make any rash decisions or say something that we might regret.
But if you ask me about your helping nature, be the same, albeit without draining yourself out. Because that is you… You selflessly help people without thinking. Its a rare trait that people have nowadays. I wish you a very happy new year.
Thank you for reading, and for those warm words, Raj. Happy 2019 to you!
Pause, take a step back too before committing. I like that word. Wish you the best.
Thanks, Lata.
Good decision . We all need to hit a paise button some days .. all the best.
Thanks, Prats.
That’s a great choice Mayuri. We are normally so caught up in the daily grind that we work on some kind of an automatic setting. Glad you’re trying to change that and good luck with it. It’s good to stop and think what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and whether it is worth it at all. Wishing you a very happy New Year.
Thank you for reading, Tulika. Happy 2019 to you too!
Makes a lot of sense to me, Mayuri. You know, there is always a danger of feeling overused when one gives so much of oneself. And there comes a time, when we need to be self focussed. So yes, I have starting say ‘No’ when I need to or when I can’t stretch myself. Pause is an excellent word and thought. If only we’d pause before doing a number of things, the outcome would be so much better.
I wish you loads of luck and happiness in 2019.
You said it, Rachna! Thanks for reading. Have an awesome 2019!
You know Mayuri, we are a lot alike you and me. While we speak our mind and don’t hold back, we also tend to be very impulsive. I’m terribly impulsive be it in a good or a bad scenario and that is something I need to work on this year. The saddest part is when you impulsively do good things for people and then they stab you in the back. It hurts and leaves you emotionally drained. This needs to be stopped.
Pause is such a unique and beautiful work and makes so much sense. I hope you succeed in this, Mayuri. I’m sure you will 🙂
You are so right, Soumya! Which is why I chose ‘Pause’ as my word. Thanks for reading.
A very powerful word, Mayuri. I completely understand how you can feel exhausted from giving. Recently, I asked myself why I did it? Did I have to prove that I was a good person? We need to temper our kindness with self-love! Good luck in 2019 – may it bring you everything wonderful!
Glad to know my thoughts resonate with you, Corinne. I love this #WOTY concept you started. Thanks for that, and for reading. Have an awesome 2019!
What a cool concept. Makes me think of what my word would be .. to Pause is good
Looking forward to reading your post.
Wonderful Mayuriji, I think all of us should take a pause in everything we do. With such fast paced life, we need breaks.
Thanks for reading, Atul.
Pause is a very good choice and yet a powerful word. Good to see someone actually going to practice it.
What a great choice! The kind of lives we lead – it is important that we pause, reflect and act. I am not impulsive but there have been times, I would love to pause. So I totally get why you chose this word. Wishing you a great 2019, Mayuri!
Thank you, Parul. Wishing you an amazing 2019 !
PAUSE is a good word, Mayuri. We all need it, before we react, make decisions, reach to conclusions, reach out to those who need us…the PAUSE that helps us think if we are indeed doing the right thing if we decide to actually do it, lest we repent later.
Wish you the best for the new year!
Oh yes, I know how empty one can feel if they are always rushing to help others. It’s not the expectation that we might get some help back leading to this drain of energy, rather it’s the treatment in itself once the help has been delivered which includes not even a thoughtful how are you, that drives me crazy. PAUSE is a good choice to set the right tone in this new year, Mayuri. It is always a good practice to pause and reflect before we commit to anything.
May you have a beautiful year ahead! ❤️
Knowing you, this is a good choice of a word. Hope you go back to it every time you’re overcome by the feeling to stretch yourselves for others who don’t deserve it.
It’s a very cliched saying, but a very true one – you cannot pour from an empty cup. Which is why, I feel Pause is a great WOTY. For you, and for many of us also. Especially if we are used to leaping before we think.
I know I have struggled with this same thing in the past. Not knowing when I was truly helping as opposed to when I had become someone’s dumping ground. But I used to rationalize it thinking that my heart was in the right place. And what if they truly needed me? What sort of a person would it make me to refuse someone in need? But honestly more often than not, the lines got really blurry, and it was not easy to decide which was which.
And so back then, I had to take a pause, even a step back, and evaluate what is it that I truly felt, and how do I want to approach some relationships in the future. So I know that pausing before you leap will help you too.
Wishing you a wonderful 2019!
Pause is a beautiful word, Mayuri. It feels similar to the word I chose for 2018 – Savour. I wanted to relax and be in the moment. Wishing you a fantabulous 2019 🙂
Pause is a beautiful word. We all need to pause at times to savour life better