Are YOU your biggest problem? #MayTivation

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‘God helps those who help themselves’, was the quote written on my class blackboard every day of the week when I was in 8th grade. When I initially read it, I appreciated it and absorbed it. Later I mulled over it and even agreed with it. Much later I took it for granted and began ignoring it.

Last year I decided I want to change my life, very obviously for the better. This lead to months of introspection. Introspection led to conclusions. Conclusions led to decisions and decisions led to actions.

A clean up drive in my life had begun. Even though I was pleased with the progress I made I realised I wasn’t happy with the results. That is when I decided to take a step back and re-examine some conclusions.

When I did that, I identified my biggest problem. It was me.

It takes a lot of courage to admit to yourself that you are your biggest problem. Click To Tweet

If there is one realisation that maturity gifts us, it is the fact that we cannot change anyone but can certainly change ourselves.

Even as I was looking forward to making certain changes in my life to make it better, little did I realise that I was the one stopping it from changing like I wanted it to.

I continued seeing people and situations through rose tinted glasses, despite them having me shown me more colours that a rainbow held. I continued holding up my end of friendships and relationships exactly as they were, even though the people on the other end had long since ceased doing their bit. I gave people way too many chances, when I should have struck them off my list long ago. My behaviour towards people remained the same, even though theirs towards me steadily deteriorated.

Much like my reaction to that quote on my school blackboard, I had noticed the changes, understood them and later chose to ignore them. In short, I had allowed wrong behaviour to continue. When I did that my life remained the same, and I remained disgruntled.

Until now.

I have slowly started making changes, within and around me. I no longer overlook traits and patterns that I am shown. Second chances are given sparingly and I am easing off the burden of one sided relationships.

Is it easy to do all this? It isn’t. It isn’t impossible either as I have someone, who knows me better than anyone else does, to help me out. Me.

MayTivation - Sirimiri

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  1. This is something which I needed to read today morning. It hurts when people don’t treat you the way you treat them but ultimately we have to take charge of our own happiness. Completely agree that only we can help ourselves and nobody else.

    1. Hope reading this helped. Thanks for stopping by, Deepa.

  2. What better eye opener than this Mayuri. Long back while pursuing my post graduation, I had researched on the topic of “re-engineering”. If I look at it now, it applies to the life as well. The life needs to be re-engineered time and again to make it worthwhile. And the process starts with self!

    1. Agree with you, Anagha. Thanks for reading.

  3. Even after doing for all I have multiple instances where people have hurt me. We cant change others but we need a change within. First of all identifying then bringing about the change is not an easy task but I guess its ultimately for our good.

    1. Yes, it may take time but it is not an impossible task. Thanks for reading, Manisha.

  4. More than people hurt, I guess we give them power to hurt us. I try and not expect much, but sometimes miserably fail. Great post

    1. Giving without expectations is something I aspire to learn. Thanks,Priya.

  5. If we can even realize that we have a problem and accept it that itself can bring about changes in ourselves. Also i feel there is nothing wrong or right maybe it is the situation that does not rhyme with us that creates problems in any relation. Yes and we don’t speak out. So lack of communication adds to it. And i agree with Priya too, above, we give others the power to hurt or insult us!

    1. You’ve given me food for thought, Sudha. Thank you for reading.

  6. Indeed we are our own best friends! Well said, Mayuri!

  7. I have been beating myself up for distancing myself from certain people because I am done with the negativity and stress that they add in my life. I have been feeling guilty for doing so and that isnt giving me the desired peace of mind. As you rightly mentioned, I am the culprit. Even though I have done the right thing, I am not believing it and hence robbing myself of the peace and the calm. I am glad I read this today. Thanks Mauri ♥

    1. Glad it helped, Shilpa. Thanks for reading:)

  8. “I continued seeing people and situations through rose tinted glasses, despite them having me shown me more colours that a rainbow held.” this is happening to most of us I believe and you have rightly quoted as – Introspect and take actions.
    If we don’t, no one is bigger fool than us. Removing those from life who poison it is best remedy.

    1. True that, Dipika. Thanks for reading.

  9. Cant agree any less MAyuri For most turmoil and questions in our life, the answers lie within us, and we serve as our strangth as well as our own weakness

    1. So agree, Ramya. Thanks for reading.

  10. I am glad you are able to correct it Mayuri, I still love people, see it’s one sided, get hurt but don’t change in my attachment at all despite of getting kicked. It hurts and I wish I acquire your wisdom soon my dear.

    1. Thanks for reading, Roma.

  11. It is a tough thing to do but yes for the sake of our sanity, it is time to start seeing people for who they really are. And you are right. Often, we just don’t see it when it is staring us in the face. Virtual world has taught me many lessons. And I no longer have lofty expectations from people here. Frankly, though I am friendly, I don’t even look for creating some lasting friendships or 3 am friends here. Good companions sure. Hope you do well on your self improvement journey.

    1. Thanks Rachna. Learning new lessons and enriching my life everyday:)

  12. Life teaches us so many lessons, sometimes we are stupid, other times in denial~!! I shifted gears few years back, since then the world doesnt accept me for what I am but I couldnt care less…

    1. We have to accept ourselves.Period. Thanks for dropping by, Aarti.

  13. […] Not letting go of habits that are wearing us down? […]

  14. […] that sounds good, and something we all would benefit from learning, right? Reason enough to ask my sister to gift me the […]

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