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Have you ever tried to hold a fistful of sand? If you have, you must have realized that the tighter you grasp it the faster it slips out from your hold. The sand keeps slipping out till you are left with a few grains that have remained because they were too far behind to escape, while the rest of your hand is empty.
Wanting to control everything is much like holding a fistful of sand. You think you are the one in control, but the sand slipping out despite your grasp makes you realize otherwise.
Wanting to have control of your life is not a bad thing. Wanting to control everyone else’s is another story. There is a difference between helping out and controlling.
You are helping out when you are asked to help, or asked for suggestions or advice.
When you think you know better, when you want to make decisions for others, when you want others to follow your diktat, these are the traits that should make you realize that you are not helping out but wanting to control.
More often than not, people who are controlling when not ‘obeyed’ tend to ‘punish’ the people they control. By ignoring them, by cutting off communication and other similar ways. These actions either break the other person down or breaks the relationship of both the people, the one controlling and the one in control.
Controlling gives the person a false illusion of being in charge, when the fact is the exact opposite. The more you control the more you lose. Remember the fistful of sand?
Let people be. Set them free, so that they want to come back to you rather than be forced to come back. Let people make their own mistakes, let them learn for them.
Replace control with compassion and watch life change. Your life.
Linking up with #MondayMusings
Am presently dealing with my Mom being ill and her losing control of her immediate needs is causing her to look for other ways to control the situation. It would be fascinating, if I wasn’t so involved.
Loss of control over our circumstances can be daunting, but letting go is the only option to moving forward.
Thanks for joining #MondayMusings today.
My problem is not that I try to control people, I try to control things and situations. Needless to say, results in a lot of hair pulling out of sheer frustration. Better now though, I’m recovering, so to speak.
That’s an extraordinarily insightful post .Control is best when it’s self control .Also any relationship needs freedom to evolve .Loved reading this
How do I control myself? Somedays I just feel like lazing around and actually going to sleep. Some days I just feel like crying. I then get down to doing something mechanical like ironing clothes or tidying up……but these feelings have to be controlled isn’t it?
Very insightful and inspiring. Something many in my life could do understanding, coz they try to control my life in a very rigid manner. And something I’ve to try learning too, because I realize that inadvertently, in some situations, I have thought I knew better or given that vibe.
Thank you for sharing!
Thought provoking post Mayuri. It’s so true for those who want to control all the situations and want everything according to them. Good one.
I’ve had enough of people controlling my life, but the conditioning is so deep rooted that it scares to be totally uncontrolled by them! Insightful post, this is.
Delight! I needed this in the past. I was trying to control every situation which made the things worst. I am now improving. Thanks for this lovely read Mayuri.
Who wants their remote control in someone else’s hands? No one not even the one who wants to hold all others’ remote controls. In a family set-up, when parents strive too hard to exert control over their grown-up children , things and relationship go for a toss. I could see the parenting lesson in this post.