#MayTivation #ThinkingAloud

On Feminism and Empathy #MayTivation

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Very recently Mira Rajput Kapoor was in the news, for speaking her mind. 22 years old, married to a star and a new mother all in the span of a short year and a half, this is what Mira said.

Her views and comments got her serious amount of flak from women all over. She was called names, cursed, ridiculed, discussed and some comments on a thread on fb by women were so demeaning and vitriolic that I cringed just reading them.

Women’s Day was celebrated on the 8th of March just as it celebrated each year. I read and heard the words empower, support, equality enough times to last me another year and make me wonder how many of us actually walk the talk.

The thumb rule of Feminism for me is Empathy. Take the case of Mira Rajput for instance. How many women slandering her paused to think that she is a young girl probably enjoying the limelight she is thrust under. That she was invited for a Women’s Day function where she answered a question she was asked, in a way she may have thought was right/honest/intelligent. Little knowing that her words would be turned into weapons which would be used to hurt her. It is obvious that Mira hasn’t learnt political correctness yet, but then how many of us are guilty of flaunting our, ‘I am politically incorrect’ status? I know I am.

Mira’s words wouldn’t have had any impact at all if they were allowed to go unnoticed, it is us who gave her view undue importance and blew the whole thing out of proportion. How do you expect a young girl on a threshold of a new life which is nothing short of dreamlike to understand the struggles of real women ? And why is it important that she understand?

My friends who are Career Women have always looked down upon housewives, labelling them as ‘useless’. My mother has always been a housewife and my younger sister has always been a career woman, so I have seen both sides of the coin. Can I judge who does more, or less? No, I cannot. As there is no bar for either. However, one thing I can vouch for is my mother, as a housewife, is anything but useless. Growing up with one I have realized it is the most tiring job, with no holidays, no gratitude, no perks and no payment. And to top it you have your fellow women judging you for your choice to be one.

The battle for Feminism has been going on for long. Some women who fought for it are not even around to experience the benefits their fight for it got other women. In the same way the generation after us will have it easier than we did and I often wonder how many of them will pause to spare a thought or thanks to the women who smoothened the path for them. When you focus on one wrong view, one wrong voice and one wrong thought, you wipe out years of thinking, saying and doing the right thing. When you coerce people into thinking like you do, you make people stop thinking at all.

We are all our autobiographies in motion and our thoughts and views are an amalgamation of what we’ve seen and experienced in life. Click To Tweet

Feminism should be about empowering women, not classifying them. It should be about letting them be with their choices and not forcing yours on them. It should be about helping them see the light, not blinding them with it. It should be about allowing women to decide and not deciding for them. It should be about understanding their fears, their reluctance their ideologies and sharing yours with them. Because after all is said and done each woman has to go back to facing the consequences of words spoken and action taken herself, and some women are just not brave enough to do so.

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  1. Well said, Mayuri. We could all use more empathy and compassion in our lives. I hope people understand that.

    1. Thank you for dropping by, Shailaja.
      We all make up the ‘people’, we need to start:)

  2. I agree that feminism should be about empowering women, not classifying them. Why should we label women as working and housewife in the first place? Both work hard in my opinion. Some housewives I know earn more pursuing their passion than they could in a regular 9-5 job.
    I totally ignored the drama starring Meera Rajput. Live and let live is my policy. It is a trend to name and shame these days!

    1. Agree, Preethi.
      Also, it is more than just about earning. It is about what one wants to do and how happy they are doing it and respecting that choice.
      Thank you for reading:)

  3. We are all our autobiographies in motion and our thoughts and views are an amalgamation of what we’ve seen and experienced in life.It should be about letting them be with their choices and not forcing yours on them.
    These are my absolutely favourite lines from this post .I love how you practice tolerance even when its impossible.Mira Rajput was plain irritating.Plus she is young .Nothing more or less.We are to be blamed for giving her words all the undue importance .Empathy

    1. Hahahahaha, thank you, Amrita. For your encouraging words on my posts , always.
      And to think I used to be very sure that patience is not one of my virtues :))

  4. Thank god I found someone thinking like me. I read the whole interview and in fact she didn’t even mean to demean anyone. She said other wonderful things and media totally fixated on that one line. I blame media for inciting so much hatred among women. Why do we have to be so judgemental… Each of us are fighting out own battles… Let’s be a little sympathetic and understanding. This is one of the most sensible posts I have read off late.

    1. Thank you so much for agreeing with me, Raj. I thought I was the odd one out!

  5. How true Mayuri- we are all our own autobiographies in motion and we have to take the onus ofour lives, thoughts and actions. And yes we must learn to support women issues and not make an issue about anything/everything a woman says or does which doesnt confirm to the “normal” view of the world!

    1. Completely agree, Shalini. Thanks for stopping by.

  6. What a brilliant piece of writing Mayuri. Completely laudable what you have brought to fore. We all know this and keep brushing it under the carpet. I wish people would live and let live. Meera Rajput is just a young 23 year old and it was absolutely pointless to blow things out of proportion like the way they were. The lop side of progressing technology and media.
    I say this over and over again but i wonder why our tolerance levels are going down. Why can’t we stop judging and and just being.

    And your take on feminism is absolutely point on! Kudos girl!

    1. Thank you for your lovely words, Natz. The words spoken against Mira actually made me feel bad for her.

  7. This is d only view which differs from the popular rampage going on currently. I don’t understand why women judge other women, and why we let those judgements stop us, stall us, defeat us. Well written pov.

    1. Thanks for reading, Ishieta 🙂

  8. Wonderful post Mayuri. Mira rajput shared her views and just because she is married to a celebrity, it became such a big news. I guess people had a problem that how can a house wife be happy?
    I agree that feminism is not about making people believe in what you believe. It’s about respecting other person’s views and not imposing your views on others.

    1. Thanks for reading, Deepa. Mira was immature, the people reacting to her even more so!

  9. This is a wonderful way of expressing Mayuri. I seriously don’t understand why people, specially women, cannot respect other women. There’s no need to pull down people to make your words heard. It doesn’t matter if you are working, if you are a house wife or a stay at home mom – there is no such thing as ‘just a mom’. When you are a woman you are a multitasker.

    1. The day Women discover the joy of solidarity the world will be a different place, Tina. I live in hope for that day. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  10. I am against trolling anyone. In that sense, yes it was wrong to target Mira. For me personally, her comment was foolish and sort of provocative. Yes, she is young but she is also on a public platform. She could have just said that she is happy doing what she does instead of bringing down anyone. But, I will not say harsh things about her because I know there are many women who share her opinion. Just like there are many others who think housewives are useless. Instead of widening these chasms and targeting each other, it would be better if we just let such opinions pass without giving them attention. Especially when they come from someone who really has no standing of her own.

    1. You know, Rachna when I think back to how I was at 22, I cringe! :))))) So I think we could have all overlooked this comment coming from a young girl who was probably excited at being invited to an even and asked to speak.
      Thanks for stopping by.

  11. Agreed with you that Feminism should not classify woman on the basis of their thoughts. Indeed woman is Judged at every level of life. Same happened with Mira

    1. True, Bushra. Thanks for stopping by:)

  12. We don’t label Men/Dads. We only label women/Moms as SAHM, WAHM, FTWM etc., Leave the men and their attitude towards feminism. Sometimes even women don’t have the empathy and we don’t treat other women’s life and words with needed respect and dignity. It’s high time we realize this and shoulder our fellow moms with compassion.
    Thanks for this post Mayuri!

    1. Agree with every word you say, Janani. Thanks for sharing, and stopping by 🙂

  13. How true Mayuri!! I loved the feminism is all about empowering & not judging. Recently in one of my posts, i mentioned how women; regardless of working or sit-at-home go through 24/7 scanning of accusing eyes or probing questions. Why can’t we just STOP Judging women. A superb read…

  14. You have touched a very sensitive cord here Mayuri. Personally been on both the sides I can say my respect is very high for both but like you mentioned your mother I share the same feeling. They are there for us every day just in our moments and make them theirs. We still got Sat and Sun off from school or college that meant more work for them still, they never cringed. Whatever a women is her choice. I think we should respect her. Everyone has their own struggle, instead of looking down on them we should motivate them

  15. Well expressed truths,facts and thoughts…M
    As per my postings,I either don a role of a working woman or a home-maker.People presume things either ways and expect too many things from both.
    Trust me when I say that it is usually women who pull down women out of insecurities,arrogance or whatever..
    Criticisms that are constructive are rare nowadays…I am not claiming that I am not guilty of it …but it has never been deliberate or misplaced!

    1. True, Meenu. Thank you for reading.

  16. I liked the balance view. I cringe everytime a ‘career woman’ proudly boasts that she can’t cook or talks with an air that cooking and general home related work is beneath something! How can any work where physical, mental effort is required be menial or beneath someone? Similarly I have seen ‘home-makers’ being quick in judging a career woman as having everything easy as she has numerous helps.
    This Woman’s Day I hope women learn to respect each other for whatever their choices, its only then that we can have a true inclusive society

    1. Amen to that, Neha! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

  17. Loved your piece Mayuri. I believe as a woman we need to judge less and support each other more. And this support is even more critical at times when one of us falters, irrespective of who they are. I do believe that there could’ve been other women to bring on that podium on women’s day than a new young mother but nevertheless how we as society scrutinise every word uttered also doesn’t reflect well on us.
    keep writing

    1. Deepa, you’ve put across your thoughts so beautifully. Thank you for dropping by and sharing them with me.

  18. I think,from the time “women empowerment” has come into market the classification or the complexities has started to arise,but on the other hand it was a much needed thought for the girls who really wanted to fight the battle of life by proving their abilities in various fields.

    1. I agree, Jyotirmoy. Two sides of the same coin I guess. Thanks for reading.

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