Let’s begin with a confession: I don’t have enemies. I have fans — deeply invested, emotionally charged, occasionally dramatic fans — who are still pretending they don’t love me.
You know the type. The ones who watch everything you do but pretend not to. The ones who mysteriously “don’t like you” but somehow know every detail of your life, right down to your new haircut and your last holiday destination. The ones who roll their eyes at your confidence while secretly wishing they had even half of it.
It’s fascinating, really. We spend years learning to like ourselves, to stop seeking validation, to walk into a room without shrinking. And just when we begin to stand tall, along come the spectators, those who confuse your self-acceptance for arrogance, your boundaries for ego, and your peace for indifference.
But here’s the truth they won’t admit: it’s not dislike. It’s discomfort.
“You don’t hate what you don’t notice.
You only react to what triggers something inside you.”
When you evolve, you inadvertently hold up a mirror to those still clinging to their masks. Your courage threatens their conformity. Your joy irritates their unresolved pain. Your freedom reminds them of their fears. It’s easier for them to mock than to admit admiration. Easier to gossip than to grow.
So they talk. They whisper. They question your choices, your tone, your posts, your clothes, your “attitude.” And in doing so, they become what they secretly are, your audience.
I used to be hurt by this. I used to shrink when I sensed envy disguised as hostility. But now? I smile. Because I have finally understood, attention, in any form, is an acknowledgement.
So maybe the people who “don’t like you” aren’t your enemies at all. Perhaps they’re simply souls still figuring out how to love what you represent, because they see in you the version of themselves they’re not yet ready to become.
So here’s to being unapologetically you. Loud, quiet, graceful, bold, or all of the above. Here’s to walking into rooms knowing your presence will stir something in others, and being okay with that. Here’s to letting people feel what they need to feel, while you continue to evolve, glow, and grow.
And the next time someone throws shade, send them a little light.
After all, not everyone can admit they’re your fan. Some are still pretending they’re not in love with you.
Author’s Note
I wrote this piece on a day when I realised something beautifully freeing. Not everyone’s reaction to you is about you. Often, it’s about what they haven’t yet found within themselves.
So instead of trying to fix, convince, or defend, I choose to smile, sip my chai, and get back to living.
Because honestly?
I don’t have enemies. Just fans in emotional denial, and I wish them all healing.
This blog post is part of ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla.
This was a liberating masterclass in self-love. You just keep glowing Mayuri!
Cheers,
CRD
If one is at peace with oneself what others thik doesnt matter is the gist I have taken out of this write-up.
This is an awesome post, Mayuri. You should feel liberated by knowing that people around you do not dislike you. You should pat yourself on your back and walk tall. which I am sure you do. Instead, they are fascinated by the things you do or achieve. In short, they are plain jealous. I wish someone had told me this years ago.
I admire how you’ve owned your evolution not shrinking, not explaining, just glowing, sipping chai, and living.
True. It’s best to ignore people who feel negative just to preserve of sense of self-worth. Why do we even care who likes us or not–its their proble to solve, not ours.
This is gold.
I find quiet strength in your words that most of the time sit is not about us but about what they could not achieve.The pain of loss brings out bitterness and envy. Looking from a place of empathy and inner strength it becomes easier to not be affected by people judging you.
This is mirror and shadow work, the reflections and attachments that no longer work, as you evolve and heal and change. It’s okay to walk away from people or things that no longer work.
Dear dost, what I believe is that you are so much positive in your life and that what is taking you forward in your journey called life. Its your life and its your choice and achievement or failure. Advises we can take but what to implement is our choice and decision. More power to you.
This was really something I needed to hear. Your words are soothing and build resilience in me!
Haha, love this — such a clever twist on “enemies.” That line about people pretending not to care but watching everything really hit. You do you girl. In fact, both of us should do that 😉
This is such an enlightening post, something to carry in my heart always. “Not everyone’s reaction to you is about you. Often, it’s about what they haven’t yet found within themselves” such a beautiful reminder to onesef!
I totally believe in this too. When people find the missing part in themselves in someone to else their first reaction is discomfort and disbelief which leads to pretend hatred. They secretly want to be you and that’s the biggest validation, whether we’re looking for it or not.
Sometimes it is difficult to accept that we can have enemies without harming anyone. But when reality strikes, we can just wish them luck.
Well-put. I find this a promise with travel too. The fact that we are at an age to travel , people forget that we do had been there and done that with school and college going children. They can’t bear that we are free ! I have even tried telling that I will be going to the grave earlier
I really appreciated how you reframed “haters” as hidden fans, it nails something so subtle yet true about jealousy and projection. Your honesty hits hard: growth often rattles others’ unresolved fears, and their shade comes from that discomfort, not from you.