‘Can’t even, but I have to!’ is the universal adulting mantra. It’s the internal scream before tackling a Monday morning, the deep sigh before paying bills, the eye roll before making yet another doctor’s appointment. It’s knowing fully well that no one else is going to do it for you, no matter how much you wish they would.
Forced Wisdom: The Crash Course No One Asked For
The thing about adulting is that it doesn’t wait for you to be ready. It doesn’t ask if you want to be responsible – it simply demands it. You don’t get a choice in whether you grow wiser; you either adapt or suffer the consequences. The wisdom that comes with adulthood isn’t a gentle, enlightening experience, it’s often learned the hard way.
It’s;
Figuring out taxes because there is no skip button on financial obligations.
Learning to cook because takeout isn’t sustainable (for your wallet or your waistline)
Going to bed early because the body keeps score, and sleep deprivation isn’t cute anymore.
Swallowing your pride because sometimes apologizing is more important than being right.
Budgeting because adulthood comes with unexpected expenses, and ‘winging it’ stops working at some point.
Mastering small talk because networking and social interactions are currency in the real world
Pretending to be okay when you’re exhausted because there’s work to be done and bills to be paid.
There is no escape from these lessons. Sure, we can procrastinate, complain, or pretend we have it all figured out—but at the end of the day, adulting is just a long series of ‘I guess I have to now’ moments.
The Daily Struggle of Can’t Even But I Have To
Monday Mornings: I can’t even…but I have to because money won’t make itself.
Cooking dinner: I can’t even…but I have to because, apparently, you can’t survive on snacks forever.
Making Phone Calls: I can’t even…but I have to because adulthood involves actual conversations, not just texts.
Filing Taxes: I can’t even…but I have to because the government won’t take: “Oops, I forgot”; as an excuse.
Socializing: I can’t even…but I have to because being a hermit is only fun until you need human help.
The wisdom we never signed up for
The most ironic part? All the things we once took for granted as kids—clean clothes, home-cooked meals, paid bills, emotional support—are now our responsibility. And just like our parents, we find ourselves rolling our eyes and muttering, “No one prepared me for this.”
Yet somehow, we manage. We get up, show up, and push through, and before we know it, we become the adults we once thought had everything under control. It’s not about wanting to do it—it’s about having to do it. And in that process, wisdom sneaks in, disguised as everyday survival.
So yes, I can’t even, but I have to. Because that’s what being an adult is all about.
Remember when we were kids and thought adults had all the answers? Plot twist: they were winging it. And now, so are we.
Adulting is basically life’s way of saying, ‘Surprise! You’re responsible now!’ without warning, without a tutorial, and certainly without a refund policy. It’s waking up daily, sighing dramatically, and doing what needs to be done because no one else will.
The Inevitable Conclusion
At the end of the day, we keep doing what needs to be done, whether we like it or not. We might groan, roll our eyes, and dramatically flop onto the couch- but we still show up because that’s what being an adult means.
It’s not about having it together. It’s about pretending you do while muttering, ” I can’t even, but I have to, “under your breath. And maybe, just maybe, that is the real secret to adulthood.
I am participating in the #BlogchatterA2Z, and this is my post for the theme, ‘Of Epiphanies & Eyerolls.’
YES! You totally get it! “Forced wisdom” is the perfect way to describe it. It’s like, we’re all just faking it till we maybe-sorta-make it? I’m so tired of pretending I have my life together, and your honesty is so refreshing. Like, the whole “adulting is a scam” vibe? I’m 100% on board. It’s like we were promised stability and instead got a never-ending to-do list and existential dread. I love how you just laid it all out there, the messy reality of trying to be a grown-up. And the humor! Seriously, I was laughing out loud. It’s like you’re saying what we’re all thinking but too afraid to admit. You’ve got a way of making the chaos feel relatable and even a little bit funny. I’m definitely going to be re-reading this whenever I need a reminder that I’m not alone in this “adulting is a myth” struggle. Thanks for keeping it real! You’ve made my day a little less stressful.
I can’t even…but I have to because adulthood involves actual conversations, not just texts.
The one thing I have to remind myself every single day. Ugh! Adulting sure sucks, but yeah, we have to because… koi aur nahi karne wala
Absolutely relatable! Every morning feels like a drag that you have to fulfill a bunch of responsibilities! Nobody else is going to do it for you. You’re grateful for the life you have but sometimes it’s ok to crib, I guess!
// It’s not about wanting to do it—it’s about having to do it.//
Spot on! I feel like I found my found family after reading your post.
Audionotes can be used as a substitute to an extent, if you don’t answer the calls first. 😉
We crib, rant, and complain… but ultimately, we get it done!
Adulting is definitely about showing up when it matters…even when no one is noticing.
When I was in my late teens and my early 20s, I always thought I’d ace the adulting game and do a better job than my parents and elders. I’m in my mid-40s now and I think I’m never getting anywhere close. But then again, perhaps the rules of the game and the battlefield are very different from what they were a few decades ago.
This post resonates with every adult, and you have captured every moment when we wonder, “Why did we have to grow up at all?”
Ah, that hits hard! As a child, I couldn’t wait to grow up, dreaming of working in an office like the adults around me. But now? I long to return to those carefree days. You’ve woven such profound truths into your poetic words, wrapping them in a beauty that makes them hit even harder. Absolutely loved it!
I am able to relate to every point you make. Yes, it is often exhausting. But we have to!!
//Making Phone Calls: I can’t even…but I have to because adulthood involves actual conversations, not just texts.//
It is decreasing day by day. Talking on the phone feels like a thing of the past!!
Oh this one hit so hard! Being an adult was smooth sailing for me, but once I had kids, my god, to be responsible for another life! I tell you I was not prepared at all. There are so many days when I think I will not be able to go on like this, but then because you are an adult, you are the responsible one you do. Because in the end that what you have to do!
very well written Mayuri!