If you know a writer, congratulations, you’re already halfway to becoming material. Every conversation, every odd comment, every dramatic sigh, we notice everything. We may smile politely while sipping our chai, but secretly, we’re taking notes for later.
So, here’s a friendly guide to things YOU should absolutely never say to a writer (unless YOU enjoy seeing yourself in print as “an overenthusiastic acquaintance” with questionable grammar).
1️⃣ “You should totally write my story, it’s so interesting!”
No, Priya. You ghosted your dentist, adopted a cat, and got a haircut. That’s not a story. That’s Tuesday. Writers are not biographers-for-hire. We write because we must, not because your midlife crisis feels cinematic (to you).
2️⃣ “You’re so lucky, you just sit and write all day.”
Yes, and surgeons just play with scissors, right? Writing looks calm on the outside, but feels like a mental marathon on the inside. It’s a daily duel between words, willpower, and Wi-Fi. If it were that easy, you too would have a bestseller and a chai sponsorship by now.
3️⃣ “Can you proofread my cousin’s MBA essay? You’re a writer, na?”
No. I’m a writer, not Grammarly with feelings. Also, your cousin’s essay starts with ‘Myself Priyesh’, that’s not a red flag; that’s a distress signal.
4️⃣ “You must be rich now that you’ve published a book!”
Let me introduce you to something called royalties. It’s a polite word for “don’t quit your day job yet.”
5️⃣ “What do you even write about?”
Everything and nothing.
Myself, my friends, relatives, those who are no longer friends, love, kadhi-chawal, philosophy, family WhatsApp groups, and why people are out like jack-in-the-box as soon as their plane lands. If you have to ask, you probably don’t read.
6️⃣ “You must have written about me!”
Oh, darling. If I did, you’d know. You’d feel it in your bones and probably text me a passive-aggressive “Nice post ”.
7️⃣ “Can you write my festive greetings/birthday messages/birth and obituary announcements?”
No, you can write those yourself. I’m a writer, not your emotional secretary. Besides, if I did, you might just end up sounding better than you actually are.
Writers don’t need drama; we just need observation. And luckily for us, you provide plenty.
So, the next time you talk to a writer, remember: we’re always listening, quietly editing reality, and occasionally rolling our eyes while making mental notes.
If YOU recognise yourself here, relax — I changed your name.
This post was created for the Blogaberry Creative (Monthly) Challenge, with the theme word ‘You’ for November.
I sometimes wonder…if I had to show signs of a budding writer at age 6, would my parents have said “Beta, Uncle-Aunty ko poem likhke de do jaldi” every time relatives showed up?
Hillarious post Mayuri!
Your examples from being asked to write someone’s life story to proofreading their cousin’s MBA essay is so real, as I have totally been through those kind of literary favours.
Lol, I liked the last one the most. I am a writer, not your emotional secretary. Listening a lot, responding minimally, and filtering out the useful bits – don’t you expect more from a writer.
Oh God! That you should about me gets me every time and I’m mentally like ‘Darling if I wanted to I’d have done it by now’
Funny — and so true. People treat writing like a hobby, but often forget it’s work with late nights, doubts, edits and self-doubt. Your callout on those annoying, well-meaning but cringe remarks is spot-on. Thanks for putting it out there with honest wit.
Loved this post so honest, witty and spot-on about the writer’s life. The way you flip everyday chat into sharp truths made me smile.