It was at our Wedding Reception when the Congratulations and Best Wishes were followed by blessings like ‘Putravati Bhava’ (may you bear a Son) and requests like ‘We want good news / a bouncing baby boy before your 1st anniversary’. It was annoying to be gender selectively blessed, but we were basking in newlywed happiness to give much thought to the blessings and requests.
We crossed an important milestone in our marriage recently, by celebrating a decade together and the blessings and requests still haven’t ceased.
This leads me to believe that people are so used to unconsciously following the herd that they don’t realize that some choices, however unconventional for the society they may be, are still choices.
What am I talking about?
I am talking about Childfree being a Choice we made. This is a choice that has been very difficult, not for us but for others. Family, friends, most relatives, and curious acquaintances.
Take this post, for instance, I know that at least half the people reading it will be the ones who were curious to know why I don’t have children but are too politically correct, or perhaps afraid, to ask me. They find themselves here hoping to, finally, find out the reason why I am ‘childless’.
Is there something ‘wrong’ with me? Or does the ‘problem’ lie with my husband?
Why don’t I seek treatment?
What will happen to us in our old age, who will take care of us?
So many concerns, but no respect for a choice that we made after a lot of thought and deliberation.
Don’t you make choices all the time? From choosing what toothpaste you use to which movie you plan to watch? From where should you live to where you will be investing your money?
Speaking for myself, when I make a choice it is made after a lot of thought, and once I do I stand by it. Being Childfree was a Choice I made along with my partner and we stand by it. Why we made it is our personal matter.
#NoKidNoCry is a hashtag that could be interpreted in varied ways, but what we coined it for was that people’s assumption that you are unhappy about not having a child. That if you don’t have a child it is almost always because of some ‘defect’ or because you haven’t been ‘blessed enough to have one’. Most also assume that we secretly pine for a child, wish for one, and are always looking at another child with a smile on our face and a bleeding heart inside.
A choice is a choice. even if no one else understands it. That is all people need to understand.
This is my 1st post for #CauseAChatter a campaign with Blogchatter. I chose #GenderTalks and will be writing a post a month on a topic close to my heart #ChildFree