‘Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!
Nose as long as a telephone wire!’
Remember this ditty from when we were kids? Growing up makes us realise that neither our pants catch fire nor does our nose change it’s shape and length when we lie.
‘I don’t lie!’ is the immediate thought that comes to mind, right? Yes, you do lie. I do to and we all lie, the most to ourselves.
‘I am fine’
‘I’ll do it, no it’s not a bother.’
‘No, I didn’t feel bad.’
‘Ok, count me in.’
‘This is great.’
‘Let me know what I can do.’
How many times have you found yourself mouthing these and lines similar to these? Small lies, big repercussions.
Why do we lie?
To keep the peace.
To be liked.
Out of fear.
To not stand out in a herd.
What are the possible outcomes of these lies?
When you do something that you don’t want to do, or don’t like, or are not honest about how you feel, on a repeated basis resentment builds. Since you are well mannered enough to not let anyone know of it the resentment bubbles within, harming you.
Living in the perennial fear of being overlooked and disliked makes one a people pleaser, and another reason why people lie to themselves. To fit in. to be wanted and to not be left out.
A lot of us link our self-worth to how many people like us and need us, making us lie to ourselves. That is a wrong barometer to go by.
The people in your life are transitory as are their needs. You are the only constant in your life and the least you can do is be true to yourself.
When you embark upon a relationship of truth with yourself the people who don’t add to your life drift away. The true ones stay and true ones come to you. Not lying to yourself is habit forming and the results are being relaxed and becoming confident.
Do you trust me enough to try?