What I say & what I mean: My Resolutions for 2019! #NYR2019

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The last time I made a New Year’s Resolution AND followed it through was when I was 9 years old. I swore, “I will write in my Cursive Writing Book everyday” and I did. The end result was beautiful writing.

Proof that New Year Resolutions work IF they are feasible (I badly failed my ‘I-will-marry-George-Clooney-this-year’ 2005 resolution) and you follow through (And I badly failed it because I didn’t follow through with it) with them.

What I say-Mean- Resolutions-2019-Sirimiri

So, here is my realistic list of resolutions for 2019 that I seriously intend following;

This year I promise to take to drinking. At least 12-14 glasses of water every day. All my belongings are being shifted to the restroom as you read this.

This year I promise to stop smoking. At the ears. No more losing my cool. No more temper tantrums. Instead, I shall face temper-triggers smiling peacefully, at images of me mentally assassinating the people who infuriated me.

This year I promise to forgive and forget. All my old enemies. It’s high time I made new ones.

This year I promise to stop lending my shoulder to people to cry on. Though it will still available for a per-minute fee.

This year I promise to keep my mouth shut. And eyes and ears open. I have been living my life the other way around up till now and truth be known, the ‘I-only-open-mouth-to-change-feet’ way of life is kind of affecting my dental health a little.

This year I promise to make patience one of my virtues…kidding ya!

This year I promise to be more technologically-friendly. Anything with more than 2 buttons gets me to panic. More than 5 buttons and I am a frazzled woman. Add light, sound and moving things and I am there on the floor, in a dead faint, frothing at the mouth.
Yes, I am called “gavar” (not the vegetable and not affectionately, either) by people around me, but no worries. Who knows, at the end of this year I may just launch a spaceship.

This year I promise to start driving. No longer people up the wall, but an actual engine and metal car, on the road, a populated road. (I realized the spaceship thingy above is a tad too ambitious for a techno-phobe-on-the-mend.)

This year I promise to conquer my personal demons. Namely chocolates, shopping, procrastinating, straightening photo frames and crooked objects in my own home/other people’s homes/hotels/restaurants/shops and digressing, to name a few.

This year I promise to never again ignore my gut instinct. For the self-kick-in-the-butt that follows when I ignore-my-gut makes me resemble J Lo from certain angles.

This year I promise to save 25% of my earnings.

The previous statement has set the writer rolling on the floor with unbridled laughter and unable to complete her list.

This post is part of a Blog Train hosted by Prerna, Vartika and Alpana and sponsored by Pandora’s Box and Recipe Dabba.


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88 thoughts on “What I say & what I mean: My Resolutions for 2019! #NYR2019

  1. This is it, Mayuri!
    Had me smiling, then giggling and then monstrous laughter.
    You nailed it. From belongings rushing to room to button-less space ship, each resolution took one notch higher on entertaining, captivating front. My favourite pick is smoking by earThought isnt that a good idea to enjoy some worry free, healthy smoking

  2. Drink and drive, my dear M. There are restrooms on the way!
    This was the perfect thing to read this morning. I’m in splits!! And oh, please do give a heavy friend’s discount for your shoulder because I sure ain’t going to leave yours alone.

  3. Haha! Yes, I too am on the verge of rolling on the floor with laughter. But I am panicking too. Such ambitious resolutions are giving me a complex of sorts. *running to make my own list

  4. LOved the list Mayuri, I share most of the points with you. especially learn to drive, I has been pending so long and I want to do it this year anyhow. all the best to you and may you achieve all the goals which you wished. #NYR2019

  5. *smiles (no laughs) ear to ear*
    Hilarious post M, witty and beautiful. Love your resolutions and the passion to achieve them all. May I plz add, this year we have one more thing planned to ace up some figues related to some weird abbreviations.
    Good luck.

  6. Smiling cheek to cheek! It is kind of hard to imagine a Mayuri throwing temper tantrums but it’s nice to know that I don’t know that side of you and hopefully by the time we meet in person you have achieved your resolution

  7. Hahaha! That’s a good one, Mayuri. I am convinced some of my resolutions will meet with similar fate. I am certainly conquering my personal demons. Though I will continue to drive people up the wall and not the car. 😀

  8. Oh God! Such a hilarious post, Mayuri. Thanks for the morning laughter. Hope you will not forget your friends after finishing the entire planning of spaceship in the restroom and then finally launching it. Lol. As I am adept in driving people up the wall, can’t leave it so will continue as it is not an offense unlike driving a car over some poor fellow. Thanks for being a part of this blog train.

  9. A humour like yours is not be found. Smoking- I think I need to give that up too. 😉
    And, jokes apart wishing you a healthy new year.

  10. That was such a hilarious read Mayuri, made my day. So now that I didn’t find you’re getting much ambitious, launch a spacecraft, fly high with better health and peace of mind (with technology)

  11. I wish you strength and courage to complete your resolutions this year. Driving has always been advantageous to me. And controlling anger hours hand in hand with shutting up and speaking only when required. One resolution I am also working upon this year.

  12. Haha! I am reading it late at night when everyone is asleep. I hope I didn’t wake anyone up as I laughed aloud while reading it. Wonderful, hilarious, superb post, M. Enjoyed reading it completely. Good, I read it at the end of a busy and tiring day.
    ‘Instead, I shall face temper-triggers smiling peacefully, at images of me mentally assassinating the people who infuriated me.’ – My favourite part. 🙂

  13. hahaha loved reading it and how on a point you have written it that I could relate to all. The point of keeping mouth shut and ears open is so meant for me.

  14. these are great resolutions to have. All the best for that. Taking up driving is the best thing you can do. Driving is pretty relaxing – not during office hours though.

  15. This is you at your hilarious best. I had read the post on the day you published but I still enjoyed reading it again. I hope some of these highly doable resolutions come true (wink wink)

  16. Hahhaha , such a witty post. I can feel you and can co-relate to some of these for sure. Your writing skills are perfect! Never ever stop writing, you’re the best in expressing things in a humorous way as well. Very few can master this technique 🙂
    #vigorousreads #blogtrain #NYR2019 #Newyear_bloghop

  17. I am already a fan of your writing and this post is again an example for me. Resolutions are always serious stuff (read my post, you’ll know :)) but how you added the flavor of humor here is amazing. Badhiya!!

  18. Loved the post Mayuri. So refreshing. Your wit and humour are intact and makes this piece very entertaining. Not only the writer but I’m sure most readers are rolling on the floor too!

  19. Now this is what I call ‘Humour’! Terms like ‘hilarious’ or ‘witty’ don’t really do justice to this post. This was a laugh RIOT through and through.
    THE best one that I’ve read so far on this prompt (including my own)

    Gotta subscribe to your blog

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