The last time I made a New Year’s Resolution AND followed it through was when I was 9 years old. I swore, “I will write in my Cursive Writing Book everyday” and I did. The end result was beautiful writing.
Proof that New Year Resolutions work IF they are feasible (I badly failed my ‘I-will-marry-George-Clooney-this-year’ 2005 resolution) and you follow through (And I badly failed it because I didn’t follow through with it) with them.
So, here is my realistic list of resolutions for 2019 that I seriously intend following;
This year I promise to take to drinking. At least 12-14 glasses of water every day. All my belongings are being shifted to the restroom as you read this.
This year I promise to stop smoking. At the ears. No more losing my cool. No more temper tantrums. Instead, I shall face temper-triggers smiling peacefully, at images of me mentally assassinating the people who infuriated me.
This year I promise to forgive and forget. All my old enemies. It’s high time I made new ones.
This year I promise to stop lending my shoulder to people to cry on. Though it will still available for a per-minute fee.
This year I promise to keep my mouth shut. And eyes and ears open. I have been living my life the other way around up till now and truth be known, the ‘I-only-open-mouth-to-change-feet’ way of life is kind of affecting my dental health a little.
This year I promise to make patience one of my virtues…kidding ya!
This year I promise to be more technologically-friendly. Anything with more than 2 buttons gets me to panic. More than 5 buttons and I am a frazzled woman. Add light, sound and moving things and I am there on the floor, in a dead faint, frothing at the mouth.
Yes, I am called “gavar” (not the vegetable and not affectionately, either) by people around me, but no worries. Who knows, at the end of this year I may just launch a spaceship.
This year I promise to start driving. No longer people up the wall, but an actual engine and metal car, on the road, a populated road. (I realized the spaceship thingy above is a tad too ambitious for a techno-phobe-on-the-mend.)
This year I promise to conquer my personal demons. Namely chocolates, shopping, procrastinating, straightening photo frames and crooked objects in my own home/other people’s homes/hotels/restaurants/shops and digressing, to name a few.
This year I promise to never again ignore my gut instinct. For the self-kick-in-the-butt that follows when I ignore-my-gut makes me resemble J Lo from certain angles.
This year I promise to save 25% of my earnings.
The previous statement has set the writer rolling on the floor with unbridled laughter and unable to complete her list.