Whoever said revenge is sweet never tasted the sweetness of forget about it.
We’ve all be slighted at some point in our lives. At some point of our lives, most of us have lain awake planning revenge against those who betrayed us, harmed us or hurt us. Our imagination has conjured up scenarios where we have the upper hand and we win against those people, that ‘enemy’.
Days, weeks, months and sometimes a lifetime is spent doing this, and in doing so we unknowingly, or maybe sometimes knowingly, keep the wound hurt caused fresh as we fan it with revenge.
How many times do we calm down enough to realise that in doing so we continue holding a strong connection with the ‘enemy’ the person/ people who is/are the cause of our grievance? And in doing so we are stopping our personal growth and adding bitterness as another shade to our nature.
Have you tried forgetting about it all instead? Forgetting about the incident, the people causing it, the feeling that followed later? Yes, forgetting about it all? Once and for all!
Forgetting it and regaling everything related to the most minuscule particle that exists in your mind. So minuscule and redundant that it disappears without you realising it did? Yes, that minuscule and redundant and insignificant.
Nothing makes people madder than when they realise they are not worth a thing in your life, that they have been forgotten, their words and existence has been wiped out completely and they have no power you anymore. That their words and actions did not matter and will not matter anymore.
Yes, just forget about it all and see how light it makes you feel.
Try it, you have nothing to lose, except the resentment and bitterness accumulated due to the desire of revenge.
That’s actually the last stage of nirvana Mayuri.I am afraid when we stop remembering, you forget to learn the lesson.I am truly trying forgiving.But forget I really can’t /don’t want whatever.Definitely not there yet I think.Lovely post .Missed Maytivation entire April.
Thank you for pushing me to write MayTivation and for reading, Amrita. I believe that forgiving and forgetting go hand in hand, if you can do one, you must do the other:)
Mayuri, this is quite the thing I needed to read! I can forgive – I am very forgiving – but at times, I can’t forget. And, then that causes too much stress. I agree with all that you have said here, but implementing it is going to be tough. But then,has anything in life been easy?
It is not tough once you decide you want to, Shilpa. I see not forgetting as having a dump of trash on and around me, and of course I want it out asap! That helps in forgetting quick. Thank you for reading:)
Have lived by this mantra. And have never believed in revenge. On the contrary have sent prayers love and light to the person who may have hurt me. Makes life simpler and frees me from the shackles of harbouring any negative feelings and thoughts.
I like those thoughts, Natz. They always work. thanks for reading:)
Well…I can forgive. But I can’t forget. Forgiving prevents the person who has wronged you to have power over you, but it is not the same as forgetting. You’ve still been wronged. That wrong can be serious and you don’t want the person to have power over you-but at the same time you should never forget. That’s my opinion, anyway.
Thanks for sharing your side, Alana. And for reading:)
I wish I could. My memory is very sharp when it comes to such incidents. But yes, I do forgive. Only because then I am not harmed and the force of the hurt is blunted. That way the culprit no longer has their hold over me.
An elephants memory has nothing on mine, Rachna;-D but I am beginning to think of my mind as a hard disk, which I can’t crowd with crap I don’t need, so keep deleting :))
First of all, Thanks for bringing back ‘Maytivation’.
It’s not easy for me to forgive but now I do as it makes me feel better. I also try to forget such things but some things in life remind you of all those incidents where yu felt hurt or felt like taking a revenge.
Thanks, Deepa, for reading and for sharing your thoughts:)
Oh I know this works like a charm. Like they say, the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. 🙂
You got it, Shantala! That is the truth! Thanks for reading:)
I can forgive and forget. I can count on my fingers the only times I have forgiven but not forgotten. Not for revenge but for memory sake. A good reminder you got for all of us there.
I hear you, Parul, your thoughts shine through your face and that sunshine smile of yours 🙂 Thanks for reading:)
Forgive is easier than forget I guess. I can forgive. But forget , I don’t think I can do. I wish forget would as easy as forgive.. Really a very nice thoughtful post.. I think I am gonna think about it for the rest of the day ..
Thanks for reading, Shivi 🙂
Forgiveness does not come easy when my loved ones are involved but then it’s not about them but me. Revenge is something I never did but yes I find myself engaging in Ill talk against the ones who had hurt me intentionally. I need to work opon it as it transfer negative vibes.thanks for sharing this thoughtful post with #QuotedStories
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so honestly, Upasna. If you’re working on it, you will accomplish it. Thanks for reading 🙂
I have seen all three phases – Revenge, forgiveness and forgetting and I can vouch that the temptation to seek revenge eats up the human from inside. Its agony. While forgiveness which has to come before forgetting is empowering and liberating. Thanks for this Maytivation.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts here, Anamika. Glad you stopped by to read:)
This realization comes over time I believe. As we grow older and become more mature in our understanding of the world, forgetting or ignoring becomes easier.
Raj, this realisation comes only if you are willing to welcome it. I know people who have reached the sunset years of their lives and are still bitter, holding on to memories that serve no purpose. Thanks for stopping by:)
It all depends on how you look at a situation. The first and foremost thing is to let the ego go.Else everything will fall into its place.