Ray of hope

You know, Ray, I hated your mother. I thought she was pure evil. There, I finally said it!’ exhaled Rita. ‘Surprised, huh? Or maybe not?’ Rita continued as her husband listened. ‘I am sure you aren’t surprised that I hated her. You must be surprised though that I’m telling it to you! Aren’t you?
You know, Ray, I bought a red coat today. A bright red. The color you said made me ‘look like a whore.’ It used to be my favorite color, but you never let me buy it. I’m waiting for winter, so I can wear it.
‘This Ray Nicolas! One lucky bastard!’ said Max as he exhaled a big puff of smoke and passed on the cigarette to his friend, Fred.
You know, Ray, I do know you aren’t listening to me. You never did. You never do. But I am still going to talk. I like hearing all that has been trapped inside of me spoken out aloud. It is, what is the word, liberating…no, not liberating…therapeutic. Yes. It is therapeutic.
‘Why?’ asked Fred as he took a deep drag.
‘Rich father left everything to Ray. Mother spoilt him silly. Got a beautiful and devoted wife…that one there…’ Max pointed towards Rita with his chin.
You know, Ray, I think I finally know what love is. I see it for me in all that your friend, Roy, says to me and does for me. Say something Ray, don’t just sit there stone-faced’ chided Rita as she brushed away an autumn leaf that fell on Ray’s tombstone.
‘…she’s never missed a Sunday since Ray died a year ago. Comes to his grave, cleans it, and talks to him like he’s listening…’

15 thoughts on “Ray of hope

  1. Kind of sad that she is finally able to say all these things to Ray only after he is no more in this world. But good that she has found love again.

  2. Oh wow, Mayuri. You're good at this. Didn't really expect that ending. I was just sitting there, cringing at the words she was using. So effortlessly done!

  3. aha… I wonder if there's something fishy about his death…loved the twist at end. Wonderful storytelling

  4. Thank you for dropping by, reading and for those lovely comments, Rajlakshmi, Shailaja and Beloo 🙂

  5. Oh, this was wonderfully done, Mayuri! Very crisp and a great twist. I especially liked how you joined the threads with the bit of a conversation between two other characters.

  6. It broke my heart. What pain and devotion to not want to move on even when someone is ready to do everything for you.

  7. Man! What an end! You really know how to do this to your readers, don't you!
    Loved the entire setting and the narration Mayuri!

    Cheers

  8. I loved the format you used. And the ends really surprised me. Very well done, Mayuri. A nifty tale!

  9. Thats a brilliant end to the tale. Ray … wish he had heard all that she had to say before his end

  10. Kahani mein twist 🙂
    I must say – you're giving Godma some tough competition with your short fiction!

  11. Fabulous! So well written and that subtle twist at the end. I loved that she was able to openly share her feelings and that she found love again.

  12. A sad story. I wish he'd listened to her while he was alive.

  13. Fab with a great twist in the end. You are so good at this! Keep writing more 🙂

  14. wow. this is classic mayuri! it’s like an excerpt from an award winning film script! totally gold! Loved it

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